Copyright Infringement Tuesday (Australian Cowboy Edition)

With a bandaged bleeding David Wenham on the cover, this dvd seemed like a sure-fire blood and guts western classic. I'd not heard of "Five Guns", but I thought it would be worth a shot. Strangely enough, David Wenham wasn't listed in the credits on the bottom of the cover and doesn't appear in the film in any way, shape or form.

"Five Guns" is a misleading moniker for this Les Mayfield directed 2001 western. Its real name is "American Outlaws" and it stars a young Colin Farrell as Jesse James, the famous bank robber.

David Wenham also starred in a Western in 2001, but his was called "Dust". He acted alongside Joseph Fiennes and Adrian Lester and happens to spend a large part of the film with his chest wrapped in bandages and a shotgun in his hand. Thanks to Youtube, you can see first hand evidence of the dashing David as he intimidates those dastardly Turks around him: 

(Notice any similarities to the picture on the dvd cover?)

Great going korean dvd maker you've put the wrong star on the cover and made up a different title for the movie you're selling! If only you put a blurry photo of Jon Voight (also not appearing in this film) on the back, then you'd have the hat trick... What? You did? Thanks dvd maker, you're the best!

Bearded Jon is the one on the right.

While I couldn't find the same picture on the internet, it seems that this photo of Angelina Jolie's father may well come from "Return to Lonesome Dove", but I have no substantial proof. However, I can confirm that Jon Voight does not pop his head into frame during the whole of "American Outlaws", shame really as he might have made this rather turgid western a little more exciting.

I leave you with the Wonderful Wenham and his trailer for Dust:

The Wine Cellar 1418

Down the road to Bogwang-dong, past the antique shops and the "red door" is a shabby looking doorway that leads to one of best wine shops in the area.

The Wine Cellar 1418 is compact, but they still manage to fit in more than their fair share of wines. They are still refitting and refurbishing at the moment, so things can be a little messy, but they promise that'll everything will be spick and span very soon.

All tastes are catered for, whether you're looking for a high end champagne or just a cheap Australian red. Their website (which seems to be down at the moment) offers special deals of the day, though you'll need to exercise your Korean skills to use it.

To get to The Wine Cellar take the road opposite the Hamilton Hotel and follow it down past the antique shops, about a three minute walk, until you can see large apartment buildings on the right hand side, The Wine Cellar's entrance is directly opposite. You can call them on 02 794 3737.

Kate's Kitchen's Slightly Psychotic Notice Board

Kate's Kitchen in Itaewon used to be Apgujeong cool. Judging from the notice board, either the staff have got a little more light hearted or just plain crazy.....

Hong Seok-chon's Quest To Conquer Itaewon

홍석천 (Hong Seok-chon) continues his quest to take over the whole of Itaewon with yet another restaurant. My Chelsea is located next to Gecko's Garden on the road behind the Hamilton Hotel. From a quick peek at the menu outside, it's doing the usual steaks and pastas, plus the bastard son of breakfast and lunch - brunch. Not sure why we need another brunch venue in Itaewon, but hopefully Hong's new addition to his empire will give us a better standard of eggs, waffles and pancakes...

The erstwhile entertainer now owns five bars/restaurants in the Itaewon area, all within a five minute walk of each other: Our Place, My Thai, My China, My Song and My Chelsea. I've eaten in My Thai and My China and have been pleased with the meals I've had. As for My Song, I think it's a karaoke wine bar venue sort of place, located above My Thai. Long live Emperor Hong, may he continue to feed us all!

9 Timo Restaurant and Bar

Round the back of the Hamilton Hotel, parallel to the main Itaewon street there is a veritable menagerie of restaurants. Whether you fancy Spanish, Bulgarian, French, Greek, Thai, Belgian, Australian, Indian, Chinese or Italian there are many differents places to choose from. 9 Timo is a relative newcomer, just over six months old, it provides a variety of pizzas, pastas and risottos to please hungry patrons.

9 Timo offers a weekday lunch set menu, offering a choice of: Seafood tomato spaghetti with garlic bread and coffee (15,000 won); classic alfredo fettuccine with garlic bread and coffee (14,000 won); grilled chicken sandwich and coffee (9,000 won); grilled ham & cheese sandwich and coffee (9,000 won). 10% tax not included.

The restaurant is stylishly lit, with oil burners on every table. Smooth latin beats blare out of the speakers and the rough brick walls give the place a gritty cool. The only problem with the decor is if your eyes stray upwards and see the ugly, bulky air-conditioning units hanging down from the ceiling.

The view from the main windows is not the best in the world, the Hamilton Hotel car park not really being a sight for sore eyes. However, if you concentrate hard enough on the food, it's not too bad.

I went for the "classic alfredo fettuccine" and was not disappointed. The sauce may have been a little soupy, but it was well seasoned with a pleasant pepperiness. The fettuccine was cooked to perfection and the portion was generous.

There was perhaps a little too much onion, but the three different kinds of mushrooms and tender pieces of bacon mixed well together and pushed the dish well above most other medium priced Italian eateries.

The garlic bread was tasty, but nothing out of the ordinary and the coffee served after the meal was freshly made and strong. The host was affable and the service was very quick, but that may be because there were only two customers in the restaurant between 12.00 and 1.00. The waiter claimed that they were busy in the evenings, but that lunchtimes were usually quiet.

You can contact 9 Timo on 02 790 4285 or visit their website.

C Four Cake Boutique

Can you afford to stay at the Hyatt Hotel? If so, then this little cake shop looking down on Itaewon may be right up your street.

Exposed brickwork and a classy interior set the tone for this pricey little cafe. 6,000 won will get you the simplest of coffees and 10,000 is the minimum asking price for tea or juice.

The best bet if your wallet is feeling a little empty in these times of economic depression is to skip the drinks and go straight for the cake. With ten different cakey options on offer (tart/cheese/chocolate/crepe/shortcake/chiffon/roll cake/chou cream/almond tuille/stick pie) you are spoiled for choice. I decided to go for something dark and simple in the form of the Choco Mousse cake:

Choco Mousse Cake 6,000 won a slice or 60,000 won for the whole damn thing.

The cake looks stunning. A sexy black top with a fringe of white chocolate is enough to set off a chocolaty pavlovian response from even the most hardened chocoholic.

The first bite is a satisfying mouthful of chocolate, mousse and very soft sponge. Absolutely delicious, but as you get nearer to the edge of the cake and gorge yourself on the white chocolate decorations your ecstatic chocolate experience takes a turn for the worse...

The white chocolate is ever so slightly sickly, much like the cheap stuff you can buy at the bakery markets near Dongdaemun. It spoils the taste of the rest of the cake and is a real disappointment from a "cake boutique" that charges such high prices. Leonidas in Myeongdong makes the most fantastic white chocolate and perhaps the C Four Cake Boutique needs to take a leaf out of their book and rethink their recipe.

C Four Cake Boutique is just round the corner from the Grand Hyatt Hotel, give it a try if you have the cash, but beware the cakes that bear the mark of white chocolate.

You can go to their Korean language website or call them on 02 749 8511.

A Taste of Morocco in Itaewon

Just round the corner from Itaewon station, next door to The Wolfhound pub is a brand new restaurant specializing in French and Moroccan cuisine. La Vie (라비) officially opened on 24 January this year and still has a faint whiff of newly painted walls about it.

The owner was very welcoming and the smells coming from the kitchen were delightful.

The menu seemed to be a combination of traditional Moroccan dishes and other European specialities like pasta and pizza. We decided to go for the most Morroccan things on the menu: Lamb Tagine (14,000 won) and Chicken Tagine (10,000 won).

Traditional Tagine Pot

Chicken on the left, lamb on the right... bread in the middle...

Both dishes were served in traditional earthenware bowls with a heaping pile of crusty baguette slices.

The lamb was left on the bone and very tender, mixed with soft potatoes, carrots and olives in a spicy sauce sweetened with honey. Our tongues were kept tingling for the whole meal, but the spice was not overwhelming and the bread came in handy for mopping up all the sauce.

The generous portion of well cooked chicken came with olives, potatoes and carrots, but the sauce was a little spicier without the honey sweetness of the lamb. Each dish was delicious and well worth the price.

The owner very kindly brought us "arabic tea" after our meal, it was sweet, black and beautifully scented with cloves. A wonderful treat at the end of the meal.

La Vie is certainly worth a visit, especially if you are craving North African cuisine. A spicy treat for these last few weeks of winter. You can contact La Vie on 010 31494924.

Copyright Infringement Tuesday (Bonus Scarecrow Edition)

I couldn't help it, this blatant disregard for the dvd consumer had to be blogged.....

Watching this terrifically bad horror film this morning, I wondered why the scarecrows in "Scarecrows" didn't look like the one on the cover. I'd been expecting nubile teenagers running in terror from scythe wielding monsters and if the back cover was anything to go by a nice helping of Tony Todd (Star of Candyman and other horror classics).

As I watched this 1988 classic film unfolded I noticed that the scarecrows didn't look quite the same and that Tony Todd had either changed his skin colour and grown a beard or just wasn't in the film at all..... Perplexed I headed over to imdb to check things out. The film I had just watched was indeed "Scarecrows", but Tony Todd was not listed as appearing in it. However he did star in a film called "Scarecrow Slayer" in 2003. Flicking through the pictures I noticed that the cover art looked strangely familiar - in fact pretty much the same as the dvd I had in my sweaty little palms. The scarecrow from "Scarecrow Slayer" is the chap I expected to pop up on my tv.....

Thanks Korean dvd manufacturer for completely misrepresenting your product. I'm glad that my 2,500 won was spent on such artful deception. You are my hero and I will love you forever.

Here's the trailer for Scarecrow Slayer:

Copyright Infringement Tuesday (Gwyneth Paltrow Edition)

Today brings a star studded copyright infringement of sorts, with Bruce Paltrow's "Duets". Starring his daughter Gwyneth Paltrow, Huey Lewis, Scott Speedman, Maria Bello, Andre Braugher, Maya Rudolph, Angie Dickinson and Paul Giamatti, this movie is dedicated to those who choose to spend their free time singing in karaoke bars. It's a passable film and worth watching if only for Paul Giamatti and Andre Braugher's duet of "Try a Little Tenderness":

Aside from the revelation that Gwyneth Paltrow sings well and Huey Lewis isn't a half bad actor, there are more interesting things to be found on the dvd box than in the film. Let's take a closer look:

First off that lovely young lady standing on the bar and waving her hands in the air is none other than Piper Perabo. Dear sweet Piper doesn't appear in "Duets", but she did star in "Coyote Ugly" (made the same year) alongside Maria Bello whose screaming face can be seen in the bottom left hand corner. 

Look at Gwyneth getting kissy kissy bottom right and the sharper observers of this page might note that she is about to snog Ethan Hawke. Ethan Hawke? But he's not even in "Duets"! He did appear with Gwyneth in "Great Expectations" though. 

Let's turn to the back cover and see what treats await us there:

Gwyneth up top, judging by her hairstyle, seems to come from the David Fincher classic "Se7en" and Gwyneth down below has been untimely ripped from the movie "Hush". The first two pictures in the centre row are 100% bonafide stills from the film, but what's the third one? Let's zoom in: 

Is that David Schwimmer I spy? Despite looking debonair, he didn't star in "Duets", but did do a cheeky little comedy with Gwyneth called "The Pallbearer".

Congratulations DVD makers for featuring a bonus five films in addition to your main feature. A wonderful way to celebrate the many faces of Gwyneth Paltrow. So to celebrate here's the girl herself singing "Bette Davis Eyes":

Smoked Salmon and Whiskey Cream Pasta

Popped into Chef Meili's deli this morning looking for some inspiration and settled on his delectable home smoked salmon. Got myself home and tried out a little pasta experiment:

4 slices of smoked salmon (roughly chopped)

A large handful of parsley (finely chopped)

1 pack of Notari mushrooms (other varieties would work aswell)

4 cloves of garlic

3 fingers of half decent whiskey (Johnnie Walker Black in this case)

3 fingers of fresh cream

Tablespoon of olive oil

Black pepper and salt to taste

Grated parmesan (or another suitable hard cheese)

Enough pasta for two people (Whatever shape or size you desire, I used fusilli)

Start boiling the pasta in salted water and heat up the oil in a frying pan. Fry off the mushrooms and the garlic and when both are starting to go slightly golden, turn up the heat and add the whiskey. Flambe if you like, or if setting your kitchen on fire is not to your taste then just let the whiskey boil down a little. After the whiskey has reduced to half its original size, add the cream and let the sauce cook until the pasta is done. Drain the pasta and toss into the sauce. Grate in as little or as much parmesan as you want, stir in the parsley and at the very, very last minute toss in the smoked salmon. Stir through and serve with some sort of crusty bread.

Best accompanied with a glass of very good, very old scotch whiskey.